Joke of the Day -24--02-2006
"A Bit Senile"A couple are celebrating their fiftieth wedding
anniversary-they go down to their old school-
there, in a corner, they hold hands as they
find their old desk where he had carved, "I
love you, Sally."
On the way home, a bag of money falls out
of the armored car in front of them. She
picks it up and counts fifty thousand dollars.
The husband says, "We've got to give it back."
She says, "Finders keepers." And when they
get home she hides it in the attic.
The next day, two FBI men show up at their
home. They say, "Pardon me, did any one
in this house find any money that fell out of
an armored car yesterday?"
She says, "No."
The husband says, "My wife is lying, she took
the money and hid it in the attic."
She says, "Don't believe him, he's a bit senile."
So they sit the man down and begin to question
him. The FBI guy says, "Tell us the story from
the beginning."
The old man says, "Well, my wife and I were
on our way home from school..."
The FBI guy looks at his partner and says,
"Let's get out of here."
funny quotes and cute funny sayings
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
Death is hereditary.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
